Wandering In The Bardo

"Heaven is my father and Earth is my mother and even such a small creature as I find an intimate place in their midst. Therefore, that which fills the universe I regard as my body and that which directs the universe I consider as my nature. All people are my brothers and sisters. And all things are companions."

"It's been easy until now, but you'll likely question how."

I'm not sure how I am going to deal with my new and improved working situation from mid-August. The first quote is good for a wanderer (I wrote it in my diary in 1990) and I feel like wandering but now I feel something has changed. I'm going to Robert's place in the Berkeley hills for 4th of July. Moving to a new place on July 15th. Slow movement once up there...Yosemite, back to coast. Esalan? It is more expensive here than in Tokyo. May I find some enclave of sensitive, loving and kind people to hang with. And my I be "adept at containment."

The seond quote is from a song called "Bardo" by Todd Rundgren. I feel like I am in a Bardo - it's a perfect piece for an international returnee to ponder. Here are the lyrics:

http://trconnection.com/lyrics/Song.53.10

Was listening to Art Pepper this morning. It's amazing how relevant jazz is to the vagaries of a normal life. It really works to get involved in listening to how it's played. Meditative.

I think S is still locked up, thousands of miles away where there is panic and brutality on the streets. Every moment that goes by, when there is not an email from him, scares me. I am scared that he will lose his beautiful life - that life that so cared about this life with its fingers typing out these words.