fear

as i stay here in the u.s. longer, i experience phases of awareness. the latest one is the fear that permeates the air. people seem to take the fear for granted. now i find myself knowing that the right thing to do is to put up curtains, not give out my home number to people i do not know well and don't assume people care to understand there is another way. i sometimes feel like an immigrant who came here alone like in "Brother from Another Planet." That's a movie, though. i'm not fragile but i am vulnerable in a truly physical way. the passivity of the japanese made tokyo a relaxing city. i got used to that on a level i was not aware of until now.