Identity

The time I spent in Japan had an effect on my identity which I wasn't aware of until I returned to the states and discovered I was no longer a 外人; a "non-Japanese." A significant period of time passed (21 months) for this awareness to occur. And there was a lot of confusion in between. Feelings of awareness are moving to the surface now where they can see the light of day but they're moving so fast - like salmon swimming upstream to spawn. I have made a few close friends here but feel a loss of potential (everything that occurred in that 21 months.)

I am still in receptive mode but also see the invaluable inner-resource of evaluating anyone and anything before accepting. I also see that the offering of myself in making new friends here - in between what was familiar and getting used to the new lifestyle - was stressful.